Voice Mail Etiquette

Its very important, when one's loved ones are hospitalized, that phone messages from doctors and other hospital staff are carefully worded.  Most of the actual medical personnel with whom we've dealt have been really good about this.  On Friday, for instance, our neonatologist at St. Mark's called to warn us about the impending transfer to Primary.  (It turns out that I didn't get the message until after I turned up at the hospital, but that's neither here nor there.)  As always, her words were "Hi, it's Dr. Liu;  Ainsleigh is fine, but I need you to call me."  That middle clause is critical, because the doctor knows that without it, the message "Hi, it's Dr. Liu; I need you to call me" is nothing short of terrifying.  Unfortunately, other hospital staff have been...less consistent.  Last night I arrived home and got this message:  "This is Kristi at PCMC.  We need to talk about your health insurance.  I'm in the office from 7am to noon tomorrow." 

Context: the other day we got a bill for Sarah's stay in St. Mark's that totalled almost $11,000.  And that was for four days in a hotel-type room with a visit from a nurse every four hours. By contrast, Miss Ainsleigh's experience to date entails: eleven days in the St. Mark's NICU; five days (and counting) in the PCMC NICU; the more-or-less constant presence of a registered nurse, a nurse practitioner, and a neonatologist for that entire time; the services of at least four (and possibly as many as seven) different pediatric cardiologists; four echocardiograms (and counting); LifeFlight transfer from St. Mark's to Primary; and various attendant expenses like IV antibiotics, supplemental oxygen, diapers, formula, etc.  There is no doubt in my mind that Ainsleigh's total hospital bill already far exceeds $100,000.  Now, this is OK, because the U supplements my absurdly low salary with a top-shelf health insurance plan for my whole family. But under these circumstances it's not exactly good for my mental health to hear that "we need to talk" about my health insurance. 

Postscript: Lest anybody get the wrong idea, all turned out well in the end.  (Better, by about $1000, than I actually expected.)  This post is purely about the avoidably heart-stopping nature of the phone message.